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Meowisis
1. Within the start, there was Noodlecat. Noodlecat is inescapably large. His length can be imagined by taking the normal segment ([0, 1), and it multiplying Cartesianly by the first uncountable ordinal. This produces a larger than infinite ray starting at His head. His organs are stretched infinitely. Technically, we do not know His sex, as His genitals are more than infinitely far away. This matters not, as He does not reproduce, as He is eternal, by our perspective. When, back before time existed, Noodlecat, and an evil counterpart, Taceldoon appeared. We cannot possible know who came first, because putting things in chronological order did not yet exist. All of reality is a joint-dream had by Both. All your thoughts and actions, past, present, future, and Hawking’s Euclidean imaginary time, are mere figments by either one of Them. Their bodies are opposite from Eachother, and pointing in opposite directions, at least, when they decide direction exists. The axis formed by Their bodies is why parity on a quantum is asymmetrical. The closer one is attracting us gravitationally, kinda. 2. Although He was a perfect being, possessing no irrational emotions, Noodlecat felt a very strong will to create a being for Himself to love and cherish. The Lord created a new species in his own image. Then he made humans. Noodlecat’s will was nothing less than a perfect world justified by his own, superior species, felis cattus. However, it was not the true children of Him that ruled the Earth. In fact, the Earth hasn’t been created yet. Then, the humans ruled the Earth. Then, using the will of His noodle elegance, he created a grand living sphere, an exception in space. He named it Earth. Using the sands and waters of the Earth, which has not yet been created, to create the Earth, the true petri dish of society, and the great children of Noodlecat, who ruled over it with an iron fist, preventing the humans from ever taking control. Except, that is not quite correct. Except that was not quite wrong. In fact, the true story has yet to reveal itself. 3. The true story revealed one thousand years ago. Earth is a very common planet; it wasn’t designed by Noodlecat, but Taceldoon. It is a rock orbiting a third-generation star. The first generation of stars had something unusual. A great race of deformed starfish-rat hybrids, whose whiskers were tube feet, burst from their cage in the stomach of Noodlecat, via the anus. The debris from the rats destroying the bellybutton in their escape, caused the first stars to form. The first star was the first Earth, which created the second Earth, which is the Moon, or is it? The rats were cats. They died in their escape. And their corpses were then eaten by Nothing. They were eaten by Something. 4. On a far away planet, -14,000,000,000 years before the creation of Noodlecat and even time itself, a new species was being born under Noodlecat’s guidance. They were known as the Xenon. They lived on the planet dubbed “Womb” which is also the sun, which is orbiting the First Earth, which has not yet been created. They worship the grand enemy to Noodlecat’s will, Taceldoon, who created them. In the gathering of their worship, the grand priest gave his word: “   ” ...and it was so. Noodlecat heard their prayers, asking for a god to create them. So, Noodlecat created Himself, and then proceeded to create the Xenon, whom were created by him. Meanwhile, Noodlecat’s grand rival, who has existed for years, was suddenly born. Then he created the Second Earth. 5. The gods are cruel. Many have had the hubris to attempt to understand them. One such man was the now-cursed wizard Al-Medina. He lived in a tower on a sandstone spire of the coast of Yemen. His tower nowadays has collapsed into the seas. He was the person who wrote the next book in the Book of Noodle. He felt he understood the weak gods of Earth. Wanting to see them, he bought a camel to journey to the cursed mountain. There, he saw the beautiful gods of Earth. Mesmerized, he stayed and watched them dance in incomprehensible colors. The problem is that the gods of Earth do not dance alone. The messengers and servants of primordial entities Noodlecat and Taceldoon, and the servants of them, intervene in the problems of lower gods. Al-Medina saw one of the many forms of one of the outer gods. When he described the being, he was ostracized. He knew the weak gods of Earth were ephemeral compared to the cosmos, to Noodlecat, and Taceldoon. 6. In the beginning, God created the heavens and Earth. And the Earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God move upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening the morning were the first day. 7. There was a time in between. Long before man. Modern species that live on Earth did not exist. There was a race from the stars that colonized Earth. However, while the modern mortals we call ourselves did not exist at the time, Noodlecat was. However, He was still young. This ancient species were known as the Noodlefolk. They were proclaimed by Noodlecat Himself as the true successor species of Him. Unlike the modern species of cats, who are merely the children ofNoodlecat, the Noodlefolk were a direct part of Him. They, in truth, are Noodlecat. Their unity will bring forth the true Noodle deity, who will one day bring forth holy forthcoming of the new world, where light and Noodlecat will prevail against darkness and the alternative prognosticus. Little physical remains of the Noodlefolk have been recovered. Only cryptic, incomprehensible messages that transcend time itself, arriving to us at different inconsistent times. The most ancient message that has been presented to us has shown itself to be meaningless, unless something else is at work: “L20l08l05wssl18l05l12l09l01l02l09l12l09l20l25wssl15l 06wssl25l15l21l18wssl08l15l12l25wssl19l03l18l09l16l20l 21l18l05wssl09l19wssl09l14l03l15l14l19l09l19l20l01l14l0 3l05sPpwssL20l08l05wssl14l21l13l02l05l18l19wssl20l15 wssl18l05l13l05l13l02l05l18wssl01l18l05wssnonsPcwss nfisPcwssl01l14l04wssnsesPp” These messages may be meaningless, or could perhaps unlock the secrets of our universe.Category:Noodlebooks